Mean Mommy?

Almost 1 year that I have been living here....things totally change and inculding myself...

Used to considering myself as a nice, kind, gentel mom....but not sure now!!

Today is going to be momorail day of my life....I felt terrible...toally sad that I made my 3.5 years old daughter clean up her mess....I did not give my children any thing to eat after they refused to eat dinner for what ever reason....

To both of you...Mommy just want you to know...what you can do or what you are not suppose to do....but today you guys learn from hard way....

Lately Jenny and Donny become more and more stubborn ....hard to deal with....I don't understand why when I talk to you nicely ....you never do what I ask you to do....you guy like to push me at the edge....when I become a Monster Mommy....then you behave.....why!!!....I never understnd that.....you know I hate to yell at you!!

I hardly blame you....because I know you are small little kids....I always blame myself that I should control myself better....but I have my limit too....

Today, as usually that Jenny never wants to take nap, even though she was quite sleepy.....Mommy asked you to take a short nap after lunch...then in the afternoon you won't be cranky so much....hard to deal with you when you are cranky....you know that....ok, so if you don't take nap...you won't get to watch your show tonight....

At dinner time....Jenny never sit on your seat through dinner.....always jumb around, sit on the table, climb up and down the chair....and then ...wham!!....rice, food....all over the floor....

Mommy was mad and raised voice at you (sorry about that!!)....I knew that you felt bad too....you did not do that on purpose.....just becasue you want to run around and play and eat in the same time....

Well,, so...if you make mess, you need to clean up....I would say, 80% you do....you clean up mess....that's good!!

Today I was in tear when I look at you....3.5 years old girl...really humble, clean up mess cos she knew that her mother was angry with her.....I would ner forget that moment!!

Also, Donny , as usual that you never eat....refuses to eat meal....you just want to eat when you want to eat....but.... not this time!!....if you don't eat, you stay in high chair.....of course, you cried, cried cried and asked Daddy to let you out.....but nope!! no body can help you....you stay in high chair until you eat....

Yeah...you still did not eat ( hahahha!!)

Well...if you don't eat....you won't get any thing to eat later tonight....no snack, no cookies, no ice cream, no cereal, no milk.....nothing!!

Later tonight Donny wanted to get some thing to eat.....no no no!!....and yes...you cried and mad at me....and Jenny wanted to eat apple.....nope nope nope!!....you don't get any thing to eat until tomorrow morning....yup, went to be all hungry....

Yup...I was mean to you guys....I never want to do that too....I felt bad and sad inside....do I want to see you cry?.....never at all....but I just want you to learn what is right or what is wrong.....I hate myself when I did this to you....

I want you to know that I love you very much....I would never want to see you cry.....every night I look at you when you sleeping....you are so beautiful.....you are my little angels....I always think that I am so lucky to have you as my children....

I don't now tomorrow....but I just want you guys to be good kids...

Love you so much,

Mommy

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Other little things to update...

- I'm working on Toefl....try to get 80 by July or August ...hopefully I can start FAU next Jan....I go library as often as I can....study at night after kids go to bed....quite tired but I still have a loooooong way to go....

- Jenny's little friend, Cody...has been moved to the other class....I'm glad that it doesn't affact Jenny too much....Jenny doesn't depend on him much any more....she still shy but more independent and open to new other friends....

- Donny can talk more and more....still love reading...and fight with Jenny alot....she start as always but she doesn't mean to fight with him but it's kinda annoying...Donny doesn't like that....he is like, Leave Me Alone!!

- Both accepted the TV rule....only once after dinner...no TV during the day....

- Kevin....good Daddy, good husband....very helpful with the kids...lucky to married to him...kiss kiss :-)

That's about it!!